Archive for October, 2004

Girl , you know it’s true…

Monday, October 25th, 2004

Mood: Blinken Nod
Drinking: The thing with the vanilla and the coke

It’s just a Monday kind of Monday and I am currently enjoy the humiliation of li’l Ashlee Simpson on SNL. It’s like throwing babes to the lions to watch these little upstart poptarts falter and fail. And I do get *such* perverse satisfaction from watching it all go down. Much more than is healthy, I’m sure. Anyway. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, just visit this site: http://lipsync.us.nyud.net:8090/ (who the hell had time to build an entire site just for this freakshow, anyway?)

Also, what’s up with all these little sisters dyeing their hair brown and snatching at fame? (Nicky Hilton, Ashlee Simpson, Solange Knowles, etc.) Nepotism is everywhere.

One more rant along the same lines before I get off the dead horse: WEARING A PUNK TANK TOP MAKES YOU NEITHER PUNK NOR ROCK, BITCH! Come back and talk to me when you’re utterly broke, purple-haired, safety-pinned, snaggle-toothed and have the anarchy symbol tattooed on your dimpled ass and then I might not be offended by your glittery punk tank top. (That goes for you, too, Avril!)

Ok. In news of the not-so-Access-Hollywood variety, I had a scandalously exciting weekend doing a whole lot of, erm, painting. Let’s just say that I have always wanted a red room and now, thanks to Bruce and Carly and Lowe’s paint department, I have one! It’s gorgeous. And shiny. And red. I want to lick it, it’s so pretty. I never thought that painting your very own house could be so satisfying and so utterly exhausting. I’m now propping my eyelids up with toothpicks and it’s only 3 in the afternoon.

Hey, I’ve been getting lots of emails from lots of you who think the new web site is the bees knees, and I thank you. And I’ve passed your flirtations and flattery on to my web guru, Chris, as well. You can expect some new and fabulous entertaining devices on my web site within the next month or two…I’m working on a project (think music video but then take away the music and put in poetry and there you have it) with some friends and we should have something scintillating to show you soon. (“soon” being such a relative word.) But still. Something is in the works, just for you.

So. Stay tuned. And stay away from Ashlee Simpson and her lawnmower mullet-cut. And now I must go shoot up some caffeine. Or find new toothpicks.

-Lo, who likes lawmowers, but not mullets.

Inaugural Ball

Friday, October 15th, 2004

Mood: Champagney, as in floaty little bubbles
Drinking: Diet Vanilla Crack

Put on your fancy clothes, people, it’s time to dance!

Well, perhaps you’re not feeling the celebratory vibe as much as I am. You’re probably all, “FINALLY, the girl gets around to updating her web site. I thought she was, like, dead and stuff.”

But I’ve been seein’ sneak previews of this site for a month or more, so I’m searching for patent leather tap shoes so I can perform a little dance routine now that it’s finally live and clickable. And before I forget, I must sent out a thousand heartfelt thank yous to two people who made this site so spectacular.

First, Patti Monaghen, who put up with a messy, just-moved-in house, a farting boxer and a stressed-out me for a whole weekend. She came to visit San Francisco, brought her fancy camera and proceeded to take a series of stunning photos which you now see all over this web site. I’ve known Patti for how many years now? …sixish, I think, and she never fails to astonish me with the world she sees through the lens. THANK YOU, my friend.

Second, Christopher Brown created my first web site, which I thought was pretty damn cool, and then he turns around and absolutely outdoes himself with this version of the site. I swear the only direction I gave him was, “I’m tired of red. How about some blues and grays and foggy colors” And badaboom–a day or two later he was knocking off socks with the stuff that you’re looking at now. I owe him many cases of rare and fizzy beers. THANK YOU, Chris!

So for those of you who’ve been hanging around for enough years, you’re probably wondering why there’s not a new CD or Book or Fabulous Entertaining Device being announced, since the web site is all shiny and new. Here’s the thing… although I’ve not yet given up hope of producing the Next New Shiny F. E. D. (fabulous entertaining device), I’ve also made friends with reality and accepted the fact that when you have to have a day job to pay the bills and you don’t know anyone rich and/or famous and you don’t have an agent to pimp you out and you aren’t sleeping with anyone in publishing, well, you just kind of have to do the best you can and seize opportunities when they happen to wander by. In this case, the opportunity was a fancy new web site with shiny baubles and buttons and things. So I made with the seizing.

I have pretty much given up on the CD idea…until I meet more musician friends, preferably local ones. Since I’m not gifted in the chords and crescendo area, I’m completely dependent on the rock stars to create the music end of it. And sometimes rock stars get distracted by shiny objects (or boobs) and wander off in another direction and don’t ever come back and finish your CD. Which is all well and meant-to-be and whatever. And just means that the next time the music/poetry thing happens, it will be even better because it will be more than a haphazard idea. At least that’s the theory.

Meanwhile, I have NOT given up on the second volume of poetry idea. I’m writing and compiling and trying to figure out the best way to do it. Last time was amazing, and Angel Skin is gorgeous, but there are a few things I’d do differently. Like get one of those bar code thingers so I can sell the book on Amazon. And get some sorty of schmoozy agent who can get the book distributed in some fashion that doesn’t involve boxes in the back of my Jeep and pleading glances at independent bookstore owners. (That’s exhausting!)

Along the way, I’ve been distracted by things like moving to a new house and adopting a dog (LeeLoo is the koolest.) and reading lots of books and learning to ride a motorcycle (her name is Betty) and hanging out with my boy (Hi, Bruce!) and doing the laundry and dyeing my hair black again and shopping on Melrose and watching Showtime and attending my sister’s wedding (Hi, Jo!) and getting new tattoos and painting my new house and buying skull tennis shoes on ebay. So as you can see, I’ve been busy.

But the poetry still seeps through the cracks and my pen keeps moving and ideas keep coming and so hope stays alive.

So. I promise to update this part of the site more than I did on the last version of the web site (Which was, like, once. Really. It was very pathetic.) And I hope you’re enjoying Patti’s lovely photos and Chris’s fancy web work. Be sure to check out my friends web sites on “The Others” page. I have cool friends.

Alright. My diet vanilla coke is empty and I must go find another.

Bonjour and bon appetit.

-Lo (who couldn’t tap dance to save her life)